Rabbi Bernstein met Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky at a wedding. At the chosson’s tish, he approached Rav Shmuel and asked for a few minutes of his time. “I will be glad to speak to you,” the rosh yeshiva said graciously. “After the chuppah, let us meet in the reception hall; we should have some time to speak at that point.”
A short time later, Rabbi Bernstein found himself following Rav Shmuel as the crowd made its way toward the chuppah. As they passed through the spacious lobby, where an African American gentleman was manning the bar, Rav Shmuel paused to greet the bartender with a smile. “How are you today?” the rosh yeshiva asked politely.
“Not good at all!” the bartender blurted in an embittered tone. “But I’m sure you don’t really care,” he added, with more than a tinge of resentment in his voice. “Everyone greets me to be polite, but no one actually has any interest in hearing about how I am doing.”
Rav Shmuel looked at the man with an expression of utter sincerity. “I really do care, and I really do want to hear about what is troubling you. I am going to officiate at this wedding ceremony, but when it is over, I will come back to speak to you.”
After the chuppah, Rabbi Bernstein headed into the main hall to meet with the rosh yeshiva. After he had waited for about twenty minutes, he returned to the lobby to search for the rosh yeshiva, and he was surprised to find Rav Shmuel seated on a barstool and listening intently as the bartender shared his tale of woe.
Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky’s behavior is reminiscent of a comment made by Rav Avigdor Miller in Shaarei Orah (vol. 2, p. 228). Rav Miller quotes the Rambam (Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah 5:11), who explains that the conduct of a talmid chacham should be completely beyond reproach, that he should “act in all his deeds beyond the letter of the law … to the point that everyone praises him, loves him, and desires to emulate his deeds, and thus he sanctifies the Name of Hashem.” Rav Miller explains that for a talmid chacham the mitzvah of kiddush Hashem is no different from any other mitzvah; it must be performed actively and with specific intent, and the talmid chacham must engage in calculated actions designed to add to the Divine honor.
Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky’s conversation with that non-Jewish bartender modeled the way that a talmid chacham is meant to live his life with the goal of bringing honor to Hashem.
5TC thanks Rabbi Shraga Freedman for sharing this great story, he is the author of Sefer Mekadshei Shemecha, Living Kiddush Hashem, and A Life Worth Living. Email [email protected] for a free sefer. Visit LivingKiddushHashem.org for more resources.
I’ve never met Rav Shmuel, but I remember his brother Rav Binyamin behaved in a similar way
adds to the meaning of L’Chaim
Reb Ploni Anonymous,
Perhaps it’s time for you to meet Rav Shmuel. It is absolutely worth the trip.