My hesped for Avi Wald, Avraham Yosef ben Chayim Isaac:
We are here to mourn the loss of Avraham Yosef ben Chayim Isaac, Avi Wald, who passed away at the age of 45. Tisha B’Av has come a week early. Tisha B’Av has come a week early to the family of Avi Wald, to his beloved wife Frieda, to his children Shuey and Natan, to his mother, Mrs. Ingrid Wald, to his sister Chaia Mandel and to many members of the extended family. Tisha B’Av has come a week early to the entire Oceanside community and to all of Avi’s friends. At a normal funeral, a mother does not bury a son, teenagers do not bury a father and a young wife does not bury a husband.
Indeed, Tisha B’Av has come a week early. The very first kinah that we read on Tisha B’Av morning begins with “shavat” – everything stopped suddenly. Rav Soloveitchik explained that this word is taken from the phrase in Eichah 5:15 – shavat m’sos livno. We could not believe it when the Beit Hamikdash was destroyed – it was unexpected. Maybe there were signs of the impending doom, but we believed until the very end that the Beit Hamikdash would not be destroyed. Similarly, even after Avi was diagnosed with cancer, even after numerous procedures, we always believed that he would pull through because he always did. The last time I saw Avi was the day before I left to go to Eretz Yisrael and he was slowly getting better and he was in rehab. I expected to see him at the hospital when I returned from Eretz Yisrael. And then shavat – everything stopped. Just before Erev Shabbat Kodesh everything stopped and I won’t get to see him again. I didn’t get to say goodbye.
Avi was born in Houston and then moved to Far Rockaway in first grade and attended Southshore Yeshiva. He received a degree in hospitality and hotel management from Kingsboro and he worked in Tzfat for some time and he worked for Rabbi Silver in a boys’ yeshiva high school as his right-hand man. Avi had a passion for the food industry so he spent most of his working life at different food establishments – Supersol, Gourmet Glatt, Pomegranate, Cucumbers and even for RAM caterers.
Avi was one of our first new members who moved to Oceanside as part of our growth initiative probably around 13-14 years ago. We were so excited to have the Wald’s as part of our community, because they were warm, down to earth people. Immediately Avi got involved in the community. Specifically, he was very involved in the Kiddush committee. But he did more than that. Avi would help with anything. He would do anything for the shul and he did it with a smile. And I later learned that helping b’simcha was so natural to Avi all the time. That’s why the Wald’s took two cars up to Madraigos Rosh Hashana programs, so that Frieda could take the kids in one car and Avi could take another car so that he could give rides home to anyone who needed them. Avi was the kind of person who would stop his car in the middle of the highway to help someone with a flat tire or to help that person jumpstart his car. Avi was the kind of person who would buy sandwiches and other food to give to people who were living on the street, you know, the kind of people that most people ignore. Avi was so friendly – wherever he worked, he knew everyone and when he was treated in the hospital, he got to know everyone. That’s why everyone called him brother. Because he was everyone’s brother.
Avi was someone who was very spiritually-growth oriented. He had a strong kesher with his Rebbe from Madreigos, Rabbi Silver, and he was someone who always asked a she’elah when a difficult decision had to be made. He tried to make aliya with his family and during the year when Avi, Frieda and the family were in Israel, they hosted yeshiva and seminary students every Shabbos – one week yeshiva students, the next week seminary students. Avi had a beautiful voice and our community benefited from his beautiful kabbalat Shabbat davening. He was someone who wanted to live a good, Torah life. And he wanted that for his children, for Shuey and Netan. He loved them – he loved to have fun with them, and he cared about their yiddishkeit so much. And they were Daddy’s boys. Avi hated to say no to them when they asked for something. But he taught them the value of hard work. He wouldn’t say no to their requests, but, for example, he would only buy them the expensive Nike sneakers if they worked hard and improved their school grades. Avi would often say to his kids, “You are allowed to have a hard day, but not two hard days. Tomorrow will be a good day.”
During the entire sickness starting from a few years ago, no matter how hard it was, whenever I spoke to Avi he tried to make the best of it. He didn’t complain me that it’s not fair. Avi was obviously frustrated at times that he could not run the pizza store the way he wanted or work at another job that he took on. He was frustrated at times at the lack of progress of his rehab, but he tried to stay positive and he was so grateful for everything. And even when he wasn’t well, he still tried to help. I was shocked on the Shabbos of my son’s bar mitzvah two months ago seeing him in shul packing Kiddush-to-go boxes in his condition. But that’s who Avi was. He always wanted to help.
Where do we go from here? I don’t know. Mrs. Wald, for a mother to lose a son – I don’t know what to say to comfort you. Shuey and Natan – there are no words. Frieda, we have been communicating throughout this entire process and you have been a rock throughout. You have gone above and beyond for Avi, you were always there by his side and you did everything that you could for him. All I can say is that our entire community will be there for you to help you, to support you and your family and we pray that God gives the entire family strength to somehow continue and deal with this horrific Tisha B’Av tragedy, a tragedy of “shavat.” Avi leaves a legacy of kindness, of sweetness, of generosity, of a loving father, husband and son who will do anything for his family and really anyone in need. T’hei nishmato tzerurah bitzror ha’chayim.
